As I get older in age I can not help but think of possibilities of a soul mate. Everyone has thoughts on "Love", there are no age, gender and/or sex requirements in order for an individual to think, imagine, urge for love. BUT, at a certain point My normal thoughts of Love has turned into something much deeper it has turned into yearning for the perfect mate that I may love and build a future with. Does the ability to identify that awesome feeling of love and recognize you need and want it for your life defines a women rites of passage?
I have had a little taste of love. Having that little taste makes me disagree with the phrase " 'Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all", how would I ever miss something so beautiful had I never saw, felt, heard, smell, taste, lived it? I wouldn't have. Damn me I have experienced real love, not the love towards a mom or dad who you known all your life and has for the most part of your life been your nurturer and provider. No, it is an unexpected love, a love you learn from, because you have gained knowledge, wisdom, you love love more. So is not just a physical or sexual thing, is so much deeper. It is a love you have heard of but never knew it could happen to you, is a love that creeps up on you, changes your whole life. Is a love that open your eyes from, "I love mommy!, I love that car!, I love Jennifer Lopez!", to a more conscious feeling of a good true emotion that makes you feel even more alive by allowing you to see the world so different with many new possibilities. Has anyone ever experienced that? I have and while it was mines I loved it.
BUT, it is also true all good things must come to an end :(. I know I am able to love but the person I chose to continue to love unfortunately did not feel the same way. For this reason I must disagree with Alfred Lord Tennyson and say it is better to never have known love. When love is gone there is a huge void that can not be replaced by any other thing. If love does not come knocking on my door again, I stay with a longing and emptiness, feeling oppressed by wonderful memories that I had a long time ago. Love causes great changes in your inner person. Loosing love leaves you the job of repairing yourself depending how the love was lost. Also, restoring yourself back to health (mental, spiritual, emotional) and normalcy (your normal routine), at least in my case.
What brings me consolation is I know I was made to love, I was made to truly love someone, I was made for that purpose I feel there is an equally lovely person who was made to receive my love and share it. All good things take time it takes time to refine pure gold. The love of My life I believe is on his own journey letting life refine him like gold as will life do to me or has been doing. In our perfect timing we will find each other. I am certain. :)
